Dealing Effectively with Bullying - 7 Golden Steps to Success by Hyacinth Fraser

7 golden steps to dealing effectively with bullying

Bullying in no way shape or form is acceptable. Bullying should never happen and yet we know it does and sometimes our sons suffer in silence. If you are being bullied please get help, break the silence and tell someone. This will help to stop you being bullied and perhaps others being bullied in the future.

What is bulling?

Bullying can mean many different things to different people. Some examples of bullying will include: name calling, being hit, having your possessions snatched, being attacked or teased because of who you are in terms of your colour, religion, sexuality etc. The truth is bullies will attack for whatever twisted reason they choose.

Bullying is never right and you never deserve to be bullied. Bullies must be stopped and you can get help to do that. Never suffer in silence. Always tell an adult who you think will be able to help: a parent, a teacher, a school nurse, etc.

Bullying can also take place via a cell/mobile phone, with nasty messages being left. With the support of an adult it's best to tell the police about this.

1. Make sure you tell someone immediately, preferably an adult

It's best not to choose to suffer in silence. The bullying won't stop just because you don't tell someone. It's more likely to stop if you do. The bully will bully you into not telling someone. Things will just go on for longer if you don't. I know it's really hard sometimes to speak out and yet it is so important that you speak to someone who you feel can and will help you.

2. Be fanatical when gathering information about the bullying - times, dates, places

You know what it's like to be bullied because you're on the receiving end of it. To make sure as far as possible the bully is made to stop bullying you, gather as much evidence as you can about what happened, when and who witnessed what happened.

Bullying, in the past, and probably will in the future cost lives.

3. Become intimate with the details of the school bullying policy

It's important that schools have bullying policies and many of them do, knowing the policy will help you and your parents deal with the bullying more effectively.

Your parent could ask the school to lay on special activities that look in detail at what bullying is and how to stamp it out. Some schools have a zero tolerance policy around bullying, that is; if someone is a bully they will be excluded for a certain period of time and if they continue bullying they may be excluded for good.

Some schools put on plays that look at the horrible effects of bullying and the students are then able to discuss how they feel. Bringing the whole issue of bullying out in the open will help to stop it. You can get an adult to help make sure the school is active about promoting their anti-bullying policy.

4. Nothing beats the company of trusted friends

Individual bullies very rarely attack individuals who are with a group of trusted friends. If you are with a group of people whom you trust to `have your back', then at least they will go and get help if a bully starts on you.

There is nothing worse than being left isolated with no one to help you in your moment of need just because you are with a group of people who you thought were your friends.

5. Get them to run a bullying campaign (ask an adult for help with this)

This campaign can take a number of forms such as is already mentioned, having a play performed to help students and bullies alike understand the impact of bullying.

The school may ask certain teachers to act as anti-bullying champions, these teachers would continually make sure that anti-bullying is at the fore front of the school ensuring they keep everyone safe in the school. These teachers would also be the first point of contact if you wish to report a case of bullying in the school

6. Stand up and be counted

If you see someone being bullied, don't stand idly by watching, report it immediately. If you decide to stand and simply watch the bullying take place, then that is almost as tragic as the person doing the bullying. (It's also important to make sure you keep yourself safe.

7. Parents can take a stand too

Here are some ideas about what you as a parent can do.......

• Get more involved in your childs class/school
• Make a point of getting to know his/her friends
• Volunteer to be a parent/governor
• Speak to the head teacher about what you see as the concerns in your childs school
• Believe your child when he/she says he's being bullied, rather than dismiss him/her as some kind of `softy' who needs to learn to stand up for himself
• Talk to your local educational authority about the bullying that is taking place
• If the bullying is taking place in the local community, talk to the head of the local community group/church/synague/temple etc to find out how they will resolve the situation

For more great ideas on managing bullying why not visit:-

TopParentingTips
Bullying Resources

The Bully Book
Children's book about bullying and dealing with bully issues by Rita Toews. Anti-bully book for Teens.
http://www.thebullybook.com/

Taking the Bully by the Horns
Bullying, School Violence, Self-esteem
http://hometown.aol.com/kthynoll

For More Information:

Contact your local Mental Health Association, community mental health center, or:

National Mental Health Association 2001 N. Beauregard Street, 12th Floor Alexandria, VA 22311 Phone 703/684-7722 Fax 703/684-5968

Mental Health Resource Center 800/969-NMHA TTY Line 800/433-5959

National Clearinghouse on Bullying Phone: 800-729-6686 http://dasis3.samhsa.gov/

Anxiety Disorders Resources
Parenting Teens
Depression Resources
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Bullying Resources

For any questions - call 1-877-202-2556 toll free. We have consultants waiting to take your call 24 hours a day/7 days a week - Call Us now about Bullying Resources!